Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
