# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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