I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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