called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
