Fine. I'll sleep in my office
do herpes really smell.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
