also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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