dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
