I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
