me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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