she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
