Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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