Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
