You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I would fuck him just for his dog
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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