I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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