it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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