Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
