So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
