I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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