hell yes lets make some ravioli
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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