I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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