if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
