wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
