Can i not drive my cunt home
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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