I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
