Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
