ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you didnt know i had herpes?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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