i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
