Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize