she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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