I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
