OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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