I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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