So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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