3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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