So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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