I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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