He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So here I am, sexting at work.
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