I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
