the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
