Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize