How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
