Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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