I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
