I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize