Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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