Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
