how can u be prego again
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
