I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
