And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
