i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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