He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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