This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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