Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he thought i was a dude.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
