there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
