Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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