dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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