Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
