We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize