You can't motorboat a personality
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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