I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
