fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
